Dear 42-year-old-Self

23 August 2017|

Yesterday, I turned 32. And in ten years time, I will be 42.

What do I want to tell my 42-year-old-self in ten years time… This.

Dear 42-year-old Caley,

Happy Birthday! We all know you love a birthday and you definitely still do – and I bet you have celebrated in the most wonderful way… I can’t even imagine your 40th – this was your last milestone birthday and you always said you would go big, what a celebration! Did you have a fabulous dinner and dance? Or did you take your gorgeous friends on a trip away?

Hard to believe and imagine that MC is 45 – older, wiser and more gorgeous with age. Possibly a silver fox now, with that cheeky grin and the sparkle in his blue eyes? You’ve been married for 17 years, and they have been your best years yet!! I hope you followed through with a vow renewal at your 10 year wedding anniversary, complete with a cheesy trip to Vegas and a second honeymoon. I bet he still makes you tea in bed, lets you sleep in on the weekends, makes your heart skip a beat when he walks through the door, prays over you at night and spoils you with a weekly date night.

Your beautiful oldest princess SJ is fifteen, and you are in the midst of the teenage years with her. But I bet you share the most incredible mother/daughter bond and she talks to you about everything – cherish those car ride and bedtime chats, giggling together through fun moments and wiping away tears through her tough times. She always has and still is making you so proud, following the rules and pleasing everyone – socializing with her special group of friends, excelling in all areas at school and grooming herself to be a great leader. You can be very proud mama bear.

Your little rascal EN is no longer little but a young girl just entering her teenage years. I can’t imagine a thirteen year old is very easy but challenges are good and build and strengthen character, yours and hers (I hope your gorgeous hair stylist is still coloring away the grey hairs that this rascal brings.) But she makes you laugh every day and her crazy character still brings endless joy into your lives – a real ray of sunshine. I bet she has made a few but very close little friends, and she didn’t want a big birthday celebration – something important but more understated. I’m interested to know the ball sports she is playing and enjoying, she always had an amazing eye. And I bet she is still her Daddy’s little girl but a great love for mama cuddles.

And your baby girl, ZB – not so much a baby anymore at the age of ten! How are all your girls in double digit ages already? Time slow down. I can only imagine the looks and personality of this precious child – lighter hair but with a curl, still her big blue eyes and a good mix of her two sisters personality. The big question – is she a Mommy’s girl or Daddy’s girl? Haha. I just know she has added endless love, joy and happiness into your family unit – the final and perfect puzzle piece to completing your tribe.

Three precious daughters – do you wish you had another? Hopefully no regrets that Jesus decided that your body just couldn’t handle carrying another baby. Your gorgeous trio of beauties – are they just the best of friends? Are SJ and EN still inseparable, or has EN formed a closer bond with ZB? Oh man, you must be giggling at showing them the photos of dressing them the same – I can only imagine those teenage rolling eyes. But those days were cute!

It warms my heart to know you are still in your beautiful family home, the one you built with your heart and soul. Your safe place for you and your family. I would love to know the changes you have made – three young adult rooms now with their own creative twists in each, desks covered in homework and projects, cupboards spilling with their unique fashion ideas and photos of their amazing childhood memories. Did you add on the extension? And have you changed the garden? My mama heart can’t handle that the play house and jungle gym could no longer be there…

I can’t wait to hear of your travels… Did you finally get to the Maldives, a sneaky second honeymoon? Have your girls experienced the magic of Disney? I can only imagine the fun and laughter and special memories made on annual trips to fabulous places – three girls, the best of friends, seeing the world. Hopefully you still enjoy your annual trips to the Drakensberg – so many childhood memories to share with them there and the incredible trips to the beaches of Mauritius. I’m so glad you were always insistent on family shoots, printing canvas prints for the wall and photo book albums – cherished moments. Oh how that family gallery wall must have changed.

Three girls at big school now – hopefully the same school and so happy. What are you doing with your time mama? How is LuluPop – hopefully bigger and better, more creative and successful than before. And a gorgeous studio on your property? Planning other parties is definitely more fun now that your own girls aren’t little kids anymore – but hopefully you still get a say in their special celebrations. And this little online blogging space – I can only hope it is still going and it has brought you so much joy and therapy as well as many new friendships and a networking circle around the world.

And your gorgeous friends – it is heartwarming to know they are all still a constant in your life. Cherish them sweet birthday girl, they are truly fabulous. Friends that are sisters that have grown with you, celebrated your good times and successes and lifted you up through difficult times and failures. The sisters you never had…

Happy birthday x

*The last letter I wrote to my 39 year old self


  1. Cals, I love, love, LOVED reading these special words. What a wonderful life you’ve been blessed with, and such a beautiful family too! I truly hope that we’ve met up for loads of special coffee dates, play dates, and even a sneaky spa weekend (or five) by the time you’re 42 (and I’m 41). Sending so much love x

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

About me

I'm Caley a thirty-something wife & mummy from Durban, South Africa. Ellie Love Blog is all about me, my family and our beautiful life.


Ellie Stories