2 October 2010 – the day we said I do, the day we made a promise to each other, forever.
Today, we celebrate our 3rd wedding anniversary. This doesn’t seem like much for most couples but for us “newlyweds”, these three years mean the world.
In 3 years, we have become a married couple, shared an amazing honeymoon and other exciting travels, been accepted into another family, made special friends, attended weddings, engagements and baby showers, we bought a puppy, we feel pregnant with our first child, we made alterations to our home, we bought a new car, we had a car stolen, we bought a piece of land, we designed our dream home, we welcomed our baby girl into the world, we became parents, we laughed, we cried, we prayed, we learnt… We have done so much but there is still so much to do.
The three most important things I have learnt in marriage…
1. Communication is key
MC and I have got this wrong a few times in the past, and it never ends well. There is nothing more important in our marriage than to communicate, to talk to each other, to express our feelings. We both have a tendency to keep it quiet and then let it boil until it all explodes into one big, unnecessary argument. We have learnt to tell it like it is, but in a well-mannered and respectful way that will not hurt or anger the other person. We don’t say “nothing”, we don’t storm out the house and we try never to go to bed angry but we do give each other space. It seems to work for us. Talk a lot but also listen, so much more.
2. Put him/her first (after Jesus):
Nobody comes before our Lord. But after Him, we have learnt that our spouse comes first, no matter what. It is so easy to let life get hectic and you start putting children, friends and even yourself before your spouse – and this doesn’t work. I like to think that I don’t make a decision in my daily life without thinking about MC first. I think how my decision will affect, make him feel or does it include him. I try my best to make time for him, special quality time, just for him – no SJ, no friends or family and no social media or technology. I put his needs before my own, I try my best to serve him and be the best wife I can be. And he does the same as a husband.
3. Learn his/her love languages:
This may seem trivial to some (especially the older generation) but it is so important. And we have learnt this in a positive and a negative way. MC and I have very different love languages (as do most couples) and it has been such a journey getting to know, understand, accept and cherish each others love languages. We were the textbook couple who were loving each other in the wrong ways. My top two love languages are: Gifts and Quality Time and MC now goes out of his way to try and give me special things (from trips away to a simple note) and he makes time for just the two of us, uninterrupted. I have had to learn to love in a very different way that is familiar to me. But it pays off when I do.
We are not experts but we know what works for us.
Thank you MC for this incredible journey, I wake up each day so excited to be by your side and I fall asleep so content and happy that you are the man I close my eyes with. You are my everything, and so much more. Each day, I thank our Lord for blessing me with an angel husband. I love you more and more each day.
Love Your bride xx