These thoughts have been on my heart for so long and I haven’t had the time, the energy or the words to actually get them out – out my mouth in a constructive conversation or down on paper in my journal or on the keys of my keyboard in a blog post until now…

Yesterday, as I stood in a local restaurant takeaway queue, on day two of a busy hockey tournament weekend, in the pouring rain and juggling time between our five kiddies, I bumped into a friend who I am not very close to but have always admired as a mum, and more importantly a Christian mum. And as we chatted about the busyness of life and schedules and especially sport schedules, we both remarked on our recent absence from church on a Sunday due to the overload of Sunday sport. And it was in that very moment, just a few simple seconds, I felt a heavy weight that I have been carrying (and if I am honest, our family has been carrying) for a few weeks, just lift off my shoulders and as I walked away from this heart-altering conversation, I felt myself breathe a little lighter. I felt okay. I felt seen.

So, here’s the thing: I am a self-made perfectionist. I like to do things right, all the time. And for years, I believed I was failing as a Christian because I wasn’t doing ALL the things right. I was missing too many Sundays at church, missing too many Tuesday evenings at small group, not reading my devotional every morning, not praying with my children every night, not saying grace before every meal, not playing worship music every day, not attending every church conference, not doing enough… So then I would give up because I had “failed”. And then I listened to our pastor preach on the “perfect Christian” and he described me and everything I was doing, or not doing because we are human, we make mistakes and we try our best. I realised then, there is no perfect Christian because in Jesus’s eyes, there is no perfect, no need to be perfect.

But then I listened to a podcast and sermon about the importance of saying no to allow us space to say yes, and more specifically saying no to overloading schedules to allow space for Jesus.

And I started to question our decision making as a family. At the start of each year (and each term), we make big and bold decisions as a family. We have five children which naturally means we will have a busy family schedule. We also have three daughters who are enthusiastic and outgoing, and like to try it all. And modestly, we have three talented daughters who do well in many activities that they try. But this ‘busyness’ is for another post on another day. This term, we have found ourselves with some sort of sport activities every Sunday, which has prevented us from being in the building of our church home. For the past 11 Sundays (with the exception of one), we have either been away on holiday, away on a sports tour, on the side of a hockey field, netball court or waterpolo pool every Sunday. And my heart has struggled with this…

Is this the time that we have to step up to say no to these sports or these trips to allow us to say yes to church? Is it that simple? Some friends, some pastors, some podcasts, some sermons say yes, and some say no. Some days, I think we need to revert to the full idea of the ‘day of sabbath’ on a Sunday and not allow any of our family to attend anything on a Sunday and some days, I think that there is a lot that would be jeopardised if I were to be that strict or rigid. If I am honest, for weeks I have buried my head in the sand a little and just gone with the flow because my head and heart haven’t really wanted to or been capable of making this decision. Until yesterday…

I don’t know why this one conversation made the difference yesterday but it did. This one friend reminded me (so many things that I had already heard from my husband, my pastors, my friends and many more) but her words penetrated my heart yesterday and they were;

• This is a season and it doesn’t last forever. We also won’t allow it to.
• Jesus and the church are not just in the building.
• We have the privilege and getting to catch up our weekly sermons online.
• We prioritise church above all, but there is power and faith in opportunities in travel and sporting experiences too.
• We are doing our very best in surrounding our children with faith filled, inspiring people and families in these moments and spaces.
• There is unwavering faith in the foundation of our home and family, that stands strong when we miss our Sundays.
• There is Jesus in our every other day: in our conversations, in our prayers, in our worships, in our devotionals, in our schools, in our fellowships, in our sisterhood.
• The beauty and joy in our children’s faces and the valuable lessons taught in the activities that are playing and attending in this time. These are God-moments.
• And the greatest sign of all is that we feel this void and gaping hole, and we know something is missing when we aren’t in our church home regularly but we now feel the peace that we’re in a season and will be back soon and every chance we get.

Have you found yourself in this season? I would love to hear your thoughts and what works for you and your family?

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