Mom Guilt

12 Jun 2015|

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Mom Guilt is a real thing.

It sounds a little ridiculous and lately, maybe even a slight cliche – but until you have your own children, you will never understand the full extent of mom guilt. Mom guilt is the feeling when something happens or affects your child, and you blame yourself. Dad Guilt is a real thing too. Most of the time, this feeling is not warranted but it is still felt – it comes from genuine mistakes made or from selfish moments that are much needed. 

As a Mom, I have felt this dreaded guilt on numerous occasions – some moments due to judgement of other Moms and some due to my own individual feelings… This post is a reminder to all Moms out there that Mom Guilt is so normal and I doubt that there is a Mom in the world who has never felt mom guilt just once (if not many times) in their parenting adventures. It is real. It is normal. And it is okay.

  • Having a C-section birth with both my girls
  • Choosing to have a second C-section rather than a VBAC for my second birth
  • Breastfeeding for only 4 months with SJ because I was uncomfortable breastfeeding in public
  • Breastfeeding for only 2 months with EN because my supply couldn’t keep up with her demand
  • Feeling neglected when MC spent time with SJ while I was in the NICU with EN
  • Allowing a dummy and/or soothing blanket
  • Asking the Easter bunny to get rid of all the bottles
  • Delaying potty training because the timing wasn’t right for us
  • Not taking SJ to a play date or swimming lesson because I wasn’t up to it
  • Disciplining SJ in a public space
  • Nights, weekends and holidays away without the kids
  • Turning the TV on when I wasn’t in the mood for an hour of fun, educational games
  • Dropping EN on her head falling out of a taxi
  • Putting SJ back to bed after a night terror and calming her tears without turning the light on – only to discover a huge bruise on her head after walking into the cupboard in the middle of the night
  • Hiding the paint and and paintbrushes because I don’t want to clean up the mess
  • The thoughts of wishing I could sometimes be a Working Mom to escape it all
  • General thoughts of wanting to escape for a while
  • Eating the treats from their party packs
  • Spending money on clothing for me and not for them

And the list goes on… Each day there is something new.

Have you ever struggled with Mom Guilt?
As each day comes and goes, I have learnt to embrace each and evey moment, learn from my mistakes, push the guilt aside and be positive. I am not a perfect Mom but I am proud that I try my best.
x

0 Comments

  1. Thank you for keeping it real Caley. I am sure many parents took comfort in reading this. You are an amazing mum. Your girls are so lucky to have you.

  2. Hi Cals! This post really hit home! I have always suffered from Mom guilt and felt alone but seeing you share all these same guilts has help. We are all only human and will learn from our mistakes.

    Lots of love Cals. Have a great weekend!
    Shalane

  3. You are such a sweetheart for sharing these and I think this is 100% normal. Obviously, I'm not a mom, so I have NO idea… but I have a strong maternal instinct and I am very close to my BFFs who have babies! Mom guilt is so real it's scary! You're all doing your absolute best and at the end of the day, when your girls are happy, safe and loved – THAT is all that matters! I think you're an amazing mom… and even more so because of how honest you can be! x

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I'm Caley a thirty-something wife & mummy from Durban, South Africa. Ellie Love Blog is all about me, my family and our beautiful life.

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