My name is Tracy, I am 28 and I live in
Northern California.

Both of my pregnancies went fairly
smoothly.  Besides nauseau and vomiting in the first 16 weeks, I made it
through pregnancy just fine.  I had a few scary complications with my
first pregnancy (my daughter Andie) and we were hospitalized at 29 weeks
because her heart rate kept dipping.  They monitored me in the hospital
for a couple days and released me on bed rest and I had to do stress-test
monitoring a couple times a week.  I ended up getting induced for
something called IUGR (Irregular Uterine Growth Restriction) and she arrived
almost 3 weeks early, but still weighed in at a healthy 5 pounds and 15
ounces.  My son, Nolan, who is almost 3 months old, came on his own at
just over 37 weeks, and he was a solid 8 pounds.  Both of my labors and
deliveries were fairly quick and I pushed for less than 10-15 minutes with both
kids.  The moment they both came out is something so surreal, there will
never be words to express my feelings during those exact moments, it’s intense
and so incredibly special.

Currently I am a stay at home mommy. 
I feel so blessed to be able to stay home with my kids and see them grow and
change on a daily basis.  Sometimes I feel the need to get out and have
some adult time, but I am constantly reminded that this time in my life with
little babies is so short.  I do see myself eventually returning back to
work when the babies are bigger and in school.

Andie is just a name my husband and I both
loved, and his middle name is Andrew so we thought it was kind of a little
tribute to him.  Her middle name is Jean, which is my middle name and also
my grandma’s middle name.  Nolan is also just a name we both really liked
and his middle name is Louis after my grandpa.  Both of my grandparents
are incredible people – and we really hope our kids grow up to be like them.

There aren’t any words to truly describe
how much I love being a mom. I never really thought of myself as a ‘kid
person’ and didn’t expect to enjoy it like I do. Kids are fun, energetic,
and they bring a new aspect of of adventure to my life. I look at my
children every day and am blown away that these tiny humans grew inside my
body.  I feel so proud of them and when they smile & laugh I feel a
happiness I never knew I was capable of feeling. My family consumes my
life right now, but I feel very blessed. I know this time will pass so
quickly and it always stresses me out because I want to thoroughly enjoy this
time with them being little. I would say the toughest part of becoming a
mom is the 24 hour feeling of total responsibility of two people. I am
always worried about their health, happiness, and wonder if I am doing things
right. I want them to grow up kind & happy and live lives they are
proud of. The absolute HARDEST part of being a mom?  Both of my kids
hate the car.  Now that Andie is older and facing forward, she does just
fine, but Nolan screams when he is strapped in and it gives me anxiety any time
we go anywhere. Neither one of them like being strapped in, they have
free spirits and love the independence of being out.

Neither one of my kids are old enough to be
in school, but I am considering starting Andie (she will be 2 in May) in a
little pre-school this fall for a couple of hours 1-2 days a week. She
loves other kids and I think she would really enjoy doing art projects and having
time to play.

Nolan is too little to tell. Andie
has a feisty littler personality, but she is absolutely one of the sweetest
kids I have ever known.  She loves to hug and kiss and has such an
interest in other people.  I am so proud of her. I would say she has
a little of both of us in her personality.

I am not sure what type of mama I am. I would say I am an optimistic mom, and everyday I do my best to keep things in
perspective. We have chaotic days, but when I have a few moments of
feeling utterly overwhelmed, I think of all of the people in the world who are
unable to have children and want them so badly. I know they would give
anything to experience the chaos. I need to be grateful for it all. Sometimes this perspective goes out the window and I lose my patience, but I
would say for the most part this perspective keeps me grounded. I also
know it goes too fast and I will wish for these days back someday.

I try to keep the car, diaper bag, and
house ‘picked up’. I go through their clothes and toys every few weeks to
try to stay on top of getting things they don’t need out and rotating their
toys. We don’t have a very strict routine, but we do try to get Andie
down for a nap at the same time everyday and stick to bedtime around 8pm. 
I try to get out every day with them, even if it’s just a quick ride to the
park.

I am lucky because my husband has a job
that allows him to be home 20 days a month. We love going to the park,
going to Costco, and going for walks.

There isn’t a whole lot of that going on
these days… but I do still get time to get my hair done, and am lucky enough
to have great friends I try to meet up with once a month. It sounds
strange, but I don’t mind doing their laundry and even just a few minutes alone
to fold and organize their stuff gives me a break.

Everyday I have moments where I am proud of
my babies. But I would have to say seeing Andie meet her little brother
for the first time made me proud. She was so sweet and interested in
him. She has been so loving to him and I haven’t seen her purposely try
to hurt him – occasionally her hugs and kisses are a little rougher than we’d
like, but she hasn’t been jealous. She really has a sweet soul.

Trust your gut, believe in yourself, and
remember everything is a phase… everything. When times are tough, they
won’t last long.  And these little voices, hands around your legs, and
food on the floor will only be here for a short time. They will grow
up. Fast.  Cherish the time and do your best to keep your chin up
and focus on the positive. 🙂