Girl Mom vs Boy Mom

19 January 2015| ,

Growing up, did you ever wonder if you were a boy mom or a girl mom?
Am I right in saying almost every girl/woman who wants kids has a preference? Not necessarily a preferred gender for their child but just an image in their minds?

Do you think of pink and purple? Barbies and princesses? Girls names and girls schools? Netball and ballet? 

Or do you think of red and blue? Cars and soldiers? Boys names and boys schools? Rugby and cricket?

I’ve never had a preference but I always had an image.
I had a long list of boys names, always admired boys schools, walked straight to boys clothes in stores, imagined myself on the side of a cricket or rugby field and always thought blue.

And then I had a daughter and the image faded from blue to pink. 
In a few minutes, I became a girl mom. 
And I love it.

But I have always wondered why I always considered myself a “boy mom” – is there such a thing? How is this image formed in our minds? Is it a premonition for what is or isn’t to come? Did I think only boys because I am going to have only girls? Is it because I seem to engage and get on better with boys rather than girls? Is it because I may have had a tom boy streak in me as a child – yet I also loved pink dresses and Barbie dolls? Or is it because I just favour boys clothes, boys names and boys schools? Is it because there are no boys in my family – no brothers and not a close male figure in my house? Who really knows…

I think post-children, it is easy to be labelled as a boy mom or girl mom based on the genders that you have – often I am labeled a girl mom now because I have two daughters, yet a lot of people still comment that they still view me as a boy mom. When asked why, they do not have a solid answer. More often or not, it’s “just because”.

I don’t think such labels hold any meaning behind them – I think it is more about the relationship and personality of both parent and child. A friend of mine has two sons who she loves and adores but she is very much a girly-girl who loves heels and to dress up. Another mom has two daughters but was a tomboy growing and is still very plain, down to earth and not afraid to get muddy. I know a few moms who have an amazing bond with their sons as opposed to their daughters and moms and daughters that are inseparable and best friends. 

To me, this illustrates that boyish moms can be amazing girl moms and very feminine moms can be incredible moms. As well as, moms can have a special bond with their son or daughter. This doesn’t have as much to do with gender but rather personality – some parents clash with their children as they may have the same strong personalities or maybe because they are so different that they don’t fully understand the other. 

Once again, this has shown me that parenting isn’t always easy but it is a constant journey of learning.


  1. I have always felt that I am a boy mom, I am tom boyish, love sport, and definitely see myself on the side of the rugby field cheering our twin boys on (haha). That being said, I know I am an amazing mom to Zoe, who, it turns out, is a tom boy too. I think there is a good reason we don't get to choose our babies genders, God knows what we need more than we do. I have complete faith that whoever else joins our family in the future, will be so carefully chosen and perfectly placed for us!

  2. That's so true because I've always thought of myself as a "boy mom"! I would have been eternally grateful for whatever gift God gave us, but secretly (and I only ever told Clint), I really wanted a house full of boys – surprisingly, so did he! We have two proper proper boys and I do enjoy it so much. I think my thoughts of being a "boy mom" stemmed from not feeling very confident as a little girl and I remember having a difficult time fitting in and holding my own (my dear mom mopped up many tears!). I just didn't want to have to go through that heartbreak in case I'd have to watch my daughter go through the same. You are so right that you really do just adapt and I know that if the Lord ever gave us a little girl, we'd laugh at the thought of not being a "girl mom". She'd probably take after her Dad and give all those little girls a run for their money with character 🙂

  3. I think all moms in general really just amazing moms. I am like you and see myself as a boy mom at times but then a girl mom at times. I think the boy part comes from wanting to see a little Michael running around and I love sports and competition. The girl mom part of me is because I so desire to have the bond that so many moms and daughters have. I am excited to one day just to be called mom. The most amazing thing any woman could be called. 🙂

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

About me

I'm Caley a thirty-something wife & mummy from Durban, South Africa. Ellie Love Blog is all about me, my family and our beautiful life.


Ellie Stories