10 Marriage Tips – for Wives

29 Jul 2014|

via Pinterest

Do you ever have moments where you think you are not good enough? Not necessarily putting yourself down or think you are a bad person but just that YOU could be better?
I do. Often.
I often think I could be a better mom, a better friend, a better daughter, a better daughter-in-law, a better citizen, a better follower. And more importantly, a better wife.

So any marriage advice or tips that I see and read really appeal to me, really speak to me. And I take it to heart. And I try better.
Recently, I came across this article being shared on Facebook:
The article was posted on the blog: Eighth Rising written by an inspiring couple: Frankie and Karen Lodato – a must read for all married couples and parents. 

I’m going to include the 10 tips below for easy reading… 
All I can say – all so simple but so true!

  1. Respect your husband.  – Notice how it doesn’t say “Respect your husband if he has earned it”. A man’s greatest need in this world is to be respected, and the person he desires that respect from the most is his wife.  The trap that we’ve all been ensnared by is that they only deserve our respect when they earn it. Yes, we want our husbands to make decisions that will ultimately garner our respect, but the truth is that your husband is a human being. A human being who makes mistakes. This is the man that YOU have chosen to walk alongside you for the rest of your life, and to lead your family and he needs to be respected for that quality alone. Take it from me – when respect is given even when he doesn’t deserve it, it will motivate him to earn it. That doesn’t mean you pretend that his choices are good ones when they aren’t. Things like that still need to be communicated, but you can flesh out your differences WITH RESPECT. It makes all the difference in the world to him.
  2. Guard your heart.  – The grass is not greener on the other side. Do not believe the lie that with a slimmer figure, a higher salary, a faster car, or a bigger house, you will be a happier woman. The world is full of things and people that will serve as reminders that you don’t have the best of the best, but it’s simply not true. Live the life you’ve been blessed with, and BE THANKFUL. I get that we all have struggles, and there are even times when I would love 1,000 more square feet of house to live in, but square feet is not fulfilling – relationships are. Guard your heart from things and people that will try to convince you that your life or your husband is not good enough.  There will always be bigger, faster, stronger, or shinier – but you’ll never be satisfied with more until you’re fulfilled with what you have now.
  3. God, husband, kids…in that order.  – I know this isn’t a popular philosophy, especially among mothers, but hear me out. It’s no secret that my faith is of utmost importance, so God comes first in my life no matter what. But regardless of your belief system, your husband should come before your kids. Now unless you’re married to someone who is abusive  (in which case, I urge you to seek help beyond what my blog can give you), no man in his right mind would ask you to put your kids aside to serve his every need while neglecting them. That’s not what this means. When you board an airplane, the flight attendants are required to go over emergency preparedness prior to takeoff. When explaining the part about how to operate the oxygen mask, passengers are instructed to first put the mask on themselves before putting it on their small child. Is that because they think you are more important than your kids? Absolutely not. But you cannot effectively help your child if you can’t breathe yourself. The same holds true with marriage and parenting. You cannot effectively parent your children if your marriage is falling apart. Take it from me – I tried. There will also come a time when your kids will leave the house to pursue their dreams as adults. If you have not cultivated a lasting relationship with your spouse, you will have both empty nests and empty hearts.
  4. Forgive.  – No one is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes. If you make forgiveness a habit – for everything from major mistakes to little annoyances (every day, I have to forgive my husband for leaving the wet towel on the bathroom counter ;)) – you will keep resentment from growing.
  5. Over-communicate.  – I used to have a bad habit of not speaking my feelings. I played the standard “You should know why I’m mad” game, and that’s just downright unfair. Men are not wired like women, and they DON’T always know that they’ve been insensitive. I’m still growing in this area, and there are often times when my husband has to pry something out of me, but I’m trying to remember that I need to just communicate how I feel.
  6. Schedule a regular date night.  – This one isn’t new, but it’s very important. Never stop dating your spouse.  Even if you can’t afford dinner and a movie (which we seldom can), spending some regular one-on-one time with your spouse is essential. Don’t talk about bills, or schedules, or the kids. Frankie and I often daydream about our future, or plan our dream vacation. We connect emotionally and often learn something new about each other – even after four years.
  7. Never say the “D Word”.  – If you’re gonna say it, you better mean it. Plain and simple, threatening divorce is not fighting fair. I did this a lot in my previous marriages. I’m not proud of it, but I learned better. I was hurting deeply, and I wanted to hurt back, but it never helped me feel better.
  8. Learn his love language.  – Everyone has a love language. The way you perceive love is often different from the way your spouse perceives love. Does he like words of affirmation, or does he respond better when you give him gifts? Whatever his love language is – learn it and USE IT.  Edited to add: If you are unfamiliar with the principles behind love languages, you can learn more about it here.
  9. Never talk negatively about him.  – I learned this lesson the hard way too. If you’re going through a difficult time in your marriage and you need advice, see a counselor. Family counseling is a great tool, but try to remember that your family members and friends are not the most objective people to give advice. The argument they are hearing is one-sided and they often build up negative feelings toward your spouse, which usually doesn’t subside once you and your husband have gotten past it. Protect his image with those that you’re close with and seek help from those that can actually be objective.  News flash, ladies – your mother cannot be objective!
  10. Choose to love.  – There are times in a marriage that you may wake up and not feel in love anymore. Choose to love anyway. There are times when you may not be attracted to your husband anymore. Choose to love anyway. Marriage is a commitment. In sickness and health, in good times and in bad. Those vows are sacred. They don’t say “if you have bad times”. They say “in good times AND in bad”, implying that there WILL be bad times. It’s inevitable. So choose to love anyway. He’s worth it.
What do you think ladies? Resonate or ring true with you?
Today, I am going to be a better wife.
x

12 Comments

  1. I cannot believe this, my husband is back, i am greatful to see my husband returned with full force, Mr Robinson made this miracle to happen, Happiness has come to me at last, I am very pleased to say things are going well, I truly believe this spell has made difference in my relationship, Mr Robinson is truly gifted, I will recommend to anybody who's looking for a serious spell caster to cast a love spell him or her should contact this email robinsonbuckler@yahoo. com or call Mr Robinson + 19715126745, he wont disappointed you if you ask him to help you. All I want to say is that this spell caster MADE MY DREAMS COME TRUE.

  2. I cannot believe this, my husband is back, i am greatful to see my husband returned with full force, Mr Robinson made this miracle to happen, Happiness has come to me at last, I am very pleased to say things are going well, I truly believe this spell has made difference in my relationship, Mr Robinson is truly gifted, I will recommend to anybody who's looking for a serious spell caster to cast a love spell him or her should contact this email robinsonbuckler@yahoo. com or call Mr Robinson + 19715126745, he wont disappointed you if you ask him to help you. All I want to say is that this spell caster MADE MY DREAMS COME TRUE.

  3. People shouldn't see marriage as a responsibilty, but an adventure, and I'm saying this in all honesty. Adventures need rules and guides, so we don't find ourselves astray. The tips you provided are more or less ones that I have tried to set in my head as well. Marriage is a flame that needs to be ignited on a regular basis, and that requires a lot of teamwork, don't you think so too, Ellie? I completely agree with number ten, by the way. We should always choose to love. Thanks for sharing such a great read! 🙂

    Jim Wright @ Sherwood Couples Counseling

  4. Your post is a definite must read. In order to save your relationship, both you and your partner must be willing to give your best shot to give and take for each other. I'm sure a lot of your followers will relate your tips in their lives. Thanks for sharing, Ellie! I wish you all the best!

    Natalie Lamb @ Good Life Therapy

  5. My boyfriend broke up with me its been 4 days now. We have been dating sense he was 18 and I was 22. he has just know turned 21. We have been dating for 3 years and 2 and half months. Through the years we have had a really good relationship it was serious and we really wanted to be with each other forever. Of course we had are arguments but nothing too bad. I know that these past 3 months I had taken him for granted thinking he would always be there but was wrong. he told me he didn’t want to be in a relationship that he wanted to take time with himself. But he was still kissin me and hugging me and telling me that he will always love me and I hold a special place in her heart. I realized that right before he done this that I needed to get my act together but I guess was too late. I really love this boy there is something different about him he is the love of my life and I want us to have a better relationship then ever before and I wouldn’t ever take him for granted ever again I really do want to marry this boy and he wanted that too but idk how to get him back with out being clingy and desperate. Obviously he needs his space because he cheated on me and this time I really need help to bring him back and marry me, one day i was searching online and i saw a good testimony of how Dr Joy a real Africa spell caster help to restored back broken marriage, getting ex back, fix broken relationship. so i copy his email via??? joylovespell@gmail.com and told him all my problems so he ask me not to worry that my problem are solve that with 2 days, i will get him back which i believe in and put all my hope on and to my greatest notice, after the spell my boyfriend who broke up with me gave me a call to apology and feel so sorry for what he did so my dear ones that is how i got my boyfriend back with the help of Dr joy the real spell caster so also email him now on via joylovespell@gmail.com????

    Margaret Cynthia

    Usa Los Angeles

  6. My life became devastated when my husband sent me packing, after 8 years that we have been together. I was lost and helpless after trying so many ways to make my husband take me back. One day at work, i was absent minded not knowing that my boss was calling me, so he sat and asked me what its was all about i told him and he smiled and said that it was not a problem. I never understand what he meant by it wasn't a problem getting my husband back, he said he used a spell to get his wife back when she left him for another man and now they are together till date and at first i was shocked hearing such thing from my boss. He gave me an email address of the great spell caster who helped him get his wife back, i never believed this would work but i had no choice that to get in contact with the spell caster which i did, and he requested for my information and that of my husband to enable him cast the spell and i sent him the details, but after two days, my mom called me that my husband came pleading that he wants me back, i never believed it because it was just like a dream and i had to rush down to my mothers place and to my greatest surprise, my husband was kneeling before me pleading for forgiveness that he wants me and the kid back home, then i gave Happy a call regarding sudden change of my husband and he made it clear to me that my husband will love me till the end of the world, that he will never leave my sight. Now me and my husband is back together again and has started doing pleasant things he hasn't done before, he makes me happy and do what he is suppose to do as a man without nagging. Please if you need help of any kind, kindly contact Happy for help and you can reach him via email: happylovespell2@gmail.com

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

About me

Caleyrosenberg-72
HELLO + WELCOME
I'm Caley a thirty-something wife & mummy from Durban, South Africa. Ellie Love Blog is all about me, my family and our beautiful life.

Categories

Ellie Stories