After reading Lara Casey’s book, Cultivate What Matters – one of my goals this year was to Cultivate Meaningful Friendships. This may sound silly to some or that this comes naturally but let’s be honest – when last did you call up a friend for a good catch up, for no reason? When last did you listen when you asked a friend “How are you?”? And when last did you reach out to a friend in need, before they asked for help? I often hear friends apologies for not being in touch and for being too busy, and that’s okay. In fact, it is so normal in this crazy life that we live – our lives are crazy busy and the friends category is the one we tend to neglect first because it is the one we think will always just be there. No matter what.
Over the last few years, I have learnt some valuable and often, tough lessons about friendships. Some of these include friends come and go as the seasons come and go, some friends will become like a sister, some friends will only be there during the good and fun times, some will treat you in a way that would never accept being treated and some will move on in life, because that is where life takes them.
But as the years come and go, and friends come and go – there are certain friends that I think every girl should have. And these are a few of them…
The Friends Every Girl Needs
The Twin-Sister Friend. I grew up an only child and then as a half sister from the age of fifteen. With different mothers and in different cities and such a big age gap, my sister and I didn’t have the chance to grow up together or be very close. So I’ve pretty much been an only child. But every girl should have a friend who is like a sister – that friend that is pretty much your other half. She just gets you. She knows when you are feeling down, she jumps and down in excitement when you have something to celebrate, she will answer your call no matter the time of day or night, she knows your favorite meal order and she can pretty much finish your sentences.
The Childhood Bestie Friend. She’s known you the longest and she’s still your friend. Seasons command go, distance may separate you and your paths may change but she is a constant. She knew you then and she knows you now. She loved you then and she loves you now. You’ve been through it all together – Maths classes, matric dances, first boyfriends, driving lessons, sleepovers and the first time you got drunk. And now you get to share in new jobs, building homes, getting married having babies and making big life decisions. She is a friend to the end.
The Honesty Police Friend. This friend never lies – she will tell you when you are having the best hair day but she will also tell you when to remove an outfit that makes you look fat. She will always tell the truth because she has your best interests at heart. She will tell you the second she hears a rumor about you, and she will stand up to anyone who talks about you behind your back, no matter the cost. She will tell you when to dry your eyes because you are being silly sensitive, and she will scream from the rooftops when you have been a success because she is so darn proud. There is no friend more loyal than this one.
The Party Animal Friend. She is the definition of fun. She is always up for a party and a party is always had with her. She has the best disco heels, she is the last one on the dance floor and she is the one offering you shooters. She will help you forget that stressful deadline, let your hair down when it’s your moms night out and show you a good time when you hit the town.
The Mother Hen Friend. She will do anything and everything for you. She is the first person to phone you on your birthday and serve your favorite cake. She brings you dinner when you are sick or when you have had a baby and she takes your kids on a playdate or sleepover when you need some time out. She will drive you when you have had surgery, she always has a plaster or headache tablet in her bag and she will call your husband to check on you when she thinks you aren’t telling the truth. She sends you messages or calls you daily. She will look after you, always.
The Long Distance Friend. She moved away years ago but no matter the distance, you will forever remain friends. You are in different time zones and different continents but nothing changes. You text or call or FaceTime when you can, but thank goodness for social media – because that is how you stay in touch. You feel like you were at her child’s birthday party or on their last family holiday because you keep up to date with their online photo albums and status updates. But when she comes to visit or you fly across the world, you pick up right where you (or Instagram!) left off. Like she never left.
The Mom Friend. You were in antenatal classes together, and you bonded over contractions, baby showers and then sleep training and now potty training. You spent many a coffee day breastfeeding babies together, and then toddler playdates wiping sticky fingers and changing each other’s children nappies. You chose pre-schools together and you organized first birthday parties together. You go on family holidays together and you spend afternoons at ballet and soccer lessons together. You are friends because your kids are friends but you understand each other, and she loves your kids like her very own. You may not be friends for life or as your kids outgrow each other, but this is a very important season to be friends right now.
Do you have any of these wonderful ladies in your life? If not all of them.
Why don’t you pick up the phone and call them or message them right now, and tell them how much you love them, you value them and you are so grateful for the blessing that they are in your life.